In this devotional from J. Parker’s book on Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage, she talks about giving more generosity in the marriage bed. That could be in ways like more frequent sex (that’s what I want) but there’s also more affection, open communication, and more reassurance. J. Parker says that “we are called to go above and beyond in the giving department, pouring out to our husband the way God has poured into us” (164).
I’d like to think that my husband would describe me as generous regarding marital intimacy because I always want it and I always try to indicate. So there’s no lacking there. But definitely, I think there was more or less a lack of open communication and reassurance in the past. That’s changed now. We definitely are more generous in that area now.
I’ve held back from generosity in this area of our marriage in the past, but now that Jesus is working in us a lot more and we are relying on more spiritual guidance and grace in this area, we definitely are more generous and giving to each other, even me personally. I try to be more supportive and respectful, even in the times where he’s generally not in the mood. I try to give more grace for those times and just keep being patient. And I know I can’t be selfish. I can’t just receive what I want. I need to give more to my husband in what he needs in our sexual intimacy and in other areas of our marriage. I know God has blessed us more than we realize and we’re still together, after 10 years married and 15 years total of togetherness, and parents to 3 amazing and precious boys. That’s how strong our love is for each other.