In this devotional from J. Parker’s book on Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage, she talks about sex and love. She talks about when it comes to sex, we are to do everything in love, not just with every other areas of our marriage. J. Parker says that “We can invite God into our choices, asking Him to help us approach our marital intimacy with love–so much love that everything we do sexually in our marriage connects us deeply to our husband and honors the Father” (140).
I do feel loved by my husband when I engage in sexually. I feel that he is more present wholeheartly when he choose to indicate especially when he’s relaxed and not tired. That the love is there in all areas.. emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.
I connect my decisions on indicating and engaging in sexual intimacy with my husband through God. I know that most actual sexual engagement is actually fully followed through from my husband because he has the lower drive than I do. But I show love through hugs and kisses and teasing and verbal clues knowing that I want him, that I love him, and that I want to connect. That I want him in me. I want Us to feel as one sexually.
I know that sometimes the sex acts are simply because the other wants it and just wants to give in. Sex all in one is more powerful than just sex just as a physical act. That’s why I remember our first time together so well, because it was really done completely in love. That Love had overpowered sex. It was that mind-blowing. We’ve never been able to completely have similar outcomes but we still have some amazing times sexually.
I’ve opened up to Jesus more with sex and love. I know that he’s working in me and in my husband. I feel that there is a strong spiritual power when it comes to sex as well.
I struggle with my drive being low now because I leave it all to my husband to crave sex first… be careful what you wish for. I still enjoy sex and love it, but I feel like I need a pill too, but I don’t want to drive my husband in the bad crazy end either where he feels used either. So it’s a battle.
So our sexual intimacy continues to be a work in a progress. I try very hard not to compare sex with anything. I try to be present fully in each time we indulge in this. I invite Jesus in. I try not to think about anything but just focus on my husband completely. Enjoy the moment all the way. So it’s not always easy to do sex completely with love.
I struggle with the fact that my drive was huge in the past and now that I’m in my 30’s and a mom with three boys and all. I still see sex as an essential important area of our marriage. I want to fight for it just as I do for our marriage itself.