In this devotional with J. Parker’s book on Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage, she talks about what’s okay and what’s not okay about sex especially in marriage. There are some obvious things in the Bible like a third party in marriage bed or having sex outside of marriage (married or not). J. Parker says that “knowing God’s will for any part of our life is about staying connected to Him and His Word. We are to mediate on his truths, his principles and his desire for our lives.”(144). So basically every decision that we make sexually, does it honor our bodies and God? We are to respect sex in it’s biblical sense within our marriage.
We certainly have struggled in our marriage bed through out our marriage and relationship. We have had fantasies that aren’t honoring God and our marriage. We’ve done stuff that doesn’t please him. I indulged infidelity. We’ve both used pornography in our own time and together. We’ve masturbated together and not together. We’ve done anal sex.
I’ve struggled with my husband using sex drugs to improve his sex drive, but I know it helps when needed. I don’t want us to have a sex-less marriage and I know my husband feels the same way.
I did not always open Jesus in our sexual intimacy or the marriage itself. But my relationship with Him has improved over the last four years (well almost) and I’m still working on myself in the sexual sense and how I commit fully to our marriage bed.
I know my husband has struggled sexually in all areas. I know there are few things biblically he doesn’t agree with, and not all of it is through sex. I know he’s working his way through in everything. I know he doesn’t always allow Jesus in.
I know the more that we’re connected together spiritually, the better we are together in our marriage bed and in our marriage in general.
Love is work. Marriage is work. Sex is work. They all go together. We have to fight for it together day in and day out to want it, to crave it, to share with each other, and more. I definitely want to honor God and our sexual intimacy.