In J. Parker’s devotional book of Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage, she talks about feeling wronged within your marriage bed. She tells that it’s common that we try to pay back whenever we feel wronged. And that is wrong. We are reminded with the fact that love keeps no record of wrongs stated in the bible through 1 Corinthians 13:5. She explains that we are to respond in trying to be always kind to each other (132). I have felt wronged by my husband in the past. I have withheld sexual intimacy. I know that he feels hurt. And I know my husband has felt wronged by me as well and withheld sexual intimacy. We certainly have moved past and trying to be kind to each other. J. Parker also says sex can also foster deeper intimacy and understanding between you (132).
I do believe that is true. Sex gives the fact that we are okay and can get through whatever it’s the issue together. I certainly felt that the strongest both when we had sex the first time together, and when my husband chose to take me back both with his body and his heart 3.5 years ago when we were dealing with my infidelity situation. We had turned away from each other and our marriage and we chose to dive back into it together and allowing God to work in us individually and as a couple to change what was needed in us and in our marriage. and we are so much stronger and much more in love with each other than we did when we were first dating and first married. We try to deal with issues more with kindness and grace and forgiveness and that doesn’t impact negatively with our intimacy with each other physically.