In this devotional from J. Parker’s book on Intimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage, she talks about that while there are many ways to do good in your marriage, sex can be part of doing good for your spouse. J. Parker reminds us that “sexual intimacy in a covenant marriage according to God’s design is a good thing and something that only a wife is permitted to provide her husband (116).”
While I know that sex is vital part of intimacy in marriage with your spouse, I never really saw it as “doing good”. I mean, I don’t see sex a chore. But I’m sure it is doing good to my husband and probably for myself. I know that sex is a gift from God, and that he stresses that we embrace this faithfully and holy with each other.
I’ve certainly blessed my husband with sexual intimacy several times. Don’t forget I’m the one with the higher drive. I know in the past, I’ve felt like I should have been blessed more from my husband’s end, but you know what. I’m so comfortable now, and I don’t really care about that anymore. I respect my husband more. If he feels like he doesn’t want to open his gift with me today, that’s fine. Because I know we’ll get to reconnect soon enough. I’ve actually been focusing more on other aspects of intimacy with him more, like bedtime cuddles, prayer, talking with him, and doing whatever I could do for him. I still embrace sex, and enjoy it when I am fully in the moment. We’ve had to work hard at our marriage in keeping things open and secure and fully of trust and love and happiness, and more. I appreciate all the little things that my husband does for me, whether that he is doing something with the kids, or doing a household chore, or even playing with my hair/rubbing my back at night. I still want sex to be a good thing between us. I still crave for the intensity and closeness and connection. More often would be awesome but it’s not a necessity. I don’t need to be the wife where she pushes and shoves until he gives in. I want my husband to enjoy me and to want me and love me and he will come to me with all his nakedness in his own time. I love that I am his wife, and love being married to him. He’s just incredible. I love him so much. I can’t imagine life without him.
Always love and respect sex and your spouse at the same time! Embrace their beauty inside and out. Every inch of them. Embrace being married 🙂