Today I was back with my mom’s group this morning. Our session has resumed again after a long summer break. Today, we jumped into the next session with the symbolon teachings which was about God’s Plan for Love and Sexuality. I was very interested in what the DVD had to say about this in depth. I knew that biblically God had basically said do not commit adultery which is one of the ten commandments of life. So that’s in the sense of masturbation, pre-marital sex, pornography, extra-marital sex and etc. That God’s gift in marriage is sex. The DVD session broke down to what love and sexuality really means within the Catholic Church.
Sex within the church means the following:
- total self giving love
- Christ’s love for us in the sense of free, total, faithful and fruitful
- complete gift of self which is Christ’s self gift to the church
- profound personal act of man and woman in a deeper union (physical union leads to personal union)
- total love, total trust, and total commitment
- bodies gifting self to each other
- wedding vows made in flesh–sex is of life and procreation
Premarital sex is basically sexual selfishness–“totally yours until someone else”. It abuses the true meaning of the gift in sex–feeling of used and not true gift of self. It is one form of self-gratification.
Marriage means having the ability to deal with the person being not totally compatible. Basically loving that imperfect person. Marital sex is God’s gift of “self” to other person. This sacrament is not a fulfillment of porn. The bodies of women are God’s invitation for men to love and they are the “beauty of heaven”, not “million temptations to hell”.
The symbolon session did talk about contraception. Basically the only church approved contraception is Natural family planning. You plan where your wife is fertile and not fertile. You can limit your family size this way. You can embrace the fertile times if you are open to having a possibility of having a child or not, and wait until you come to a infertile time. The problem I have with this is that even though our woman bodies are amazing this way, even when you plan the times, every month is different. I’ve known people who have done this and still got pregnant even when practiced NFP perfectly because the cycles do change monthly. You may be fertile this x time, but it may be earlier or later next month. This is responsible parenthood in NFP.
That’s why for us though even though we didn’t like condoms, we still used hormonal birth control. Although I decided after Jackson, that I wanted my body to be completely natural and I allowed my husband to go through the procedure of vasectomy so that we could still enjoy married sex. That is basically saying that the Church views contraption as sex being abused/used. It’s not being total or faithful. It’s not a true gift of self. I still have issues with that. Because God even knows not everyone wants a big family and I’m still having sex with my husband, even after the vasectomy. Men can’t be alone. There is more to life and marriage than procreation. We chose not to deal with fear of another pregnancy or another loss. We want to focus on Christ’s love for the Church in our marriage emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
When we have committed sexual sin, we can go to God to be restored and to be reconciled. Everyone’s a sinner. It’s said in the bible that Jesus doesn’t condemn us and that we are to go and not sin no more. We are to be given love and forgiveness to change so that we can have true love and happiness. The Church is a family of God. We aren’t to let our fear overtake us. We can be in this battle with God. God understands and doesn’t judge us. He will give us peace, love and joy if we go to Him for help.
After doing this, I have a better understanding of sex in marriage and the Church’s view on it. It’s been unveiled countless times over this blog how I have had dabbled in premarital sex, masturbation, pornography and marital affair. It doesn’t matter what I have done or where I have been in the past, God is still with me today. I have gone to him and he has given me more in return. He has helped me change in my faith and marriage, and more. You don’t become a saint overnight, but slowly with time, it does happen. Marriage is a love triangle with God and your spouse. I’ve always loved sex and I do embrace it. I respect it and use it with love with my husband and bless God for giving us that gift with each other. My husband said early on in our relationship that sex was his easiest and favorite way to express his love for me. I do believe that sex does bring deeper growth and closure within marriage and with each other. My beloved is mine and I am his! So not only in other areas of our marriage, but also sexually as well that it is in my ministry to share Christ’s love with my husband.