In this devotional from J. Parker’s book on Intimacy Revealed:52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage, she talks about sex and withholding it. It’s been said in the bible that God doesn’t want us to withhold sex in marriage unless it’s been mutually agreed and only for a limited time as long sex does make its return. J. Parker stresses that we have the power to give sexual intimacy to our spouses because sex is celebrated as good in marriage. Our spouses are our willing sexual partners and we are to share that intimate experience with them.
Yes, we have both withheld sexual intimacy from each other over the course of our relationship and marriage. Usually for a short time. There’s been different reasons as to why it wasn’t happening. I think the exceptions really are to when you are truly sick, urgency with family, pregnancy and post-delivery. These are okay to say “not now, but later”. I think tiredness, and laziness can take a toll on the marriage more especially in the sexual department. Because sex is so much more than just feeling “good” physically. Because the connection and the experience matters more. And I’ve been the higher drive spouse all along too, so being refused to have sex hurts more than what has been realized.
In order to have this sexual power with me and through my husband more, there needs to be more patience, understanding, communication and commitment to get through the struggles we have and come out stronger and secure in our sex life. I love wanting to be fully into it. To give my heart, my soul and mind during any intimate time with my husband through sex. Know that I am present and to know that he is present too. That we can actually connect in all areas, not just physically. That we are still good and that we still crave for each other.