Yes, the self-pleasure tool. Self-sex if you want to call it that way too. I used to say yes to masturbation because I am one of these people that have a higher sex drive, and it would go even higher when I had my pregnancies with my kids.
Last August, I made a deal with my husband that he would go without pornography (and that meant masturbating) for like a month, and he went through it. And I believe he hasn’t’ masturbated since then, I know he has had relapses with just watching pornography just to get his guy “up”. Men are very visual and visual aides are easy. But you can be the visual for your spouse. Just unwrap yourself and invite him to you. I don’t always feel that beautiful to my husband though.
Then this just past April when we were about to be having our upstairs reno done (which included our bedroom), we had to move our things somewhere else, and we got rid of some stuff in the process which included sex stuff. It was then I chose to say goodbye to my vibrator. I was too trying to get away from pornography (I did have only a handful relapses like my husband prior to then) but I believed that if I didn’t have anything tempting to masturbate in, then I could break free completely from pornography. I have not masturbated since my vibrator has been gone.
My husband and I did watch a sex video once when we were away for our anniversary for maybe 10 mins total (he had a hard time getting in the mood), but that was our last relapse.
I know there are certain situations that can prevent you from having sex but i really now believe that masturbation and pornography go hand in hand. They rewire your brain and make you want to have “releases” more often. I think it’s better to stay away from it altogether.
Yes, my vibrator used to give me intense orgasms but I can get those through my husband. Honestly, my husband is the only one who gave me my first fireworks orgasm 10 years ago (and this was without any sex toys usage) and no one else has given me that. My husband knows my spots and can give me orgasms especially when I am willing to feel it and accept it.
I’ve been with my husband for 15 years (married to him for 10 of those years). I feel better if I save my sexual energy for him and channel it through something else when he’s not around like working out or having a bath or reading a book or even blogging.
I feel like we have a deeper intimacy with each other sexually (and even emotionally, physically, romantically and mentally and spiritually) when it’s all for each other (and for the Lord). I feel more connected with my husband. I feel more love. I feel more respect. I feel more happier. I feel more intensity.
Marriage is all about being as one and especially through sex, you can be as one too. Connected in every way possible. Sex can be just as hot and holy and pure without masturbating/watching pornography solo or as a couple. You and your spouse can intensify sex! 😀