This section in today’s post of Dr. Emerson Eggerich’s book on Mother & Son: The Respect Effect is about relationship and sexuality.
As moms, we are to respect our son(s)’ desire for a shoulder to shoulder relationship. We are to watch our kid fully without any distractions for 15 minutes and then leave to do something else. Your son will respond to you in time and be more happy. This shoulder to shoulder relationship gives them energy. It’s seen friendly to boys. Boys want phileo which means brotherly love. When boys need to apologize about something or to someone, we are to remind them that they are men of honor and that they please apologize. There are many suggestions given by Dr. Emerson in this book to say and touch our boys like their muscles, bear hugs, creating laughs from them as we tickle them, back hugs to bed, laying down with them in bed until they sleep, saying that they are honorable men that doesn’t push and hit to get their way, and believing in them in the ability to win friends and influence people, and respecting their independence.
As moms, we are to respect their desire for sexual understanding and “knowing“. Boys are created as sexual beings and that in turn are interested in sexual matters. God creates sex for pleasure and for procreation in marriage. Men are created to be attracted to the female body. They are attracted more than women who are lured by the physical attributes of male body. Inappropriate sexual interests falls under lust, fornication (premarital sex), adultery (married men with another woman)
Matthew 5:28: But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
What men see affects him sexually.
Proverbs 6:25: Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes
Hebrews 13:4 : Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
2 unmarried people who have sex don’t honor marriage. Today’s generations is all about hooking up. Sex is seen “casual”. It’s known that our sons will be faced with the pressures of premarital sex.
We as mothers have the fear that our sons will give in to lust and sin sexually. Male sexuality is a sordid desire. Heart to eyes means that men can lustfully look at women. We can reassure our sons that he is not alone in noticing that God made him this way. They are to enjoy their image. We are to coach them to look elsewhere after the first look to be honorable and honor the women. It’s obvious that men and women created differently by God. Boys are to meet God halfway. We are to help them that they can have the confidence to beat being tempted. Sexual sin is very serious to God. Sexual desires are to be enjoyed in marriage. We have to remember as we teach our sons about sex that it is a good thing and boys have pressures. Our sons are to be future husbands and they need to understand women. We are to teach them not to say I love you to other girls unless they are prepared seriously to marry. It is in God’s plan that men and female eventually marry.
Samuel 13:12 says that do not violate men. Rape is not honorable. Not honorable men and not honoring a women.
1 Corthitians 6:19-20 says the body is a temple of the holy spirit. We are to glorify God in our bodies. We are to avoid adultery, rape and anything else that hurts God’s heart.
God made boys to notice girls. The goal is have our sons understand Ephesians 5:33 that the husband is to love his wife and the wife is to respect her husband. Sex and romance are God’s ideas.