Here I am with the final portion of the Love and Respect book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. He talks about the rewarding cycle. We have to be fearless in giving respect to our husbands just as they have to be fearless in loving us. Emerson says to we are to keep showing love or respect unconditionally. It is said in 1 Peter 3:6 that we are to “do what is right without being frightened by any fear”. We are to trust God to work. Love and Respect does work on our spouses more than we realize. We just have to give it time and let the Lord in too.
Emerson says that “when you love or respect unconditionally, you are following God and His will for you” (271). He stresses that “Unconditional love and unconditional respect will be rewarded. Paul shares in Ephesians 6:7-8: that we are to “serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free“. Basically, everything you do in your marriage counts, even if your spouses are wrong.
Emerson says that the rewarding cycle is basically that his love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love (271). We are to serve love or respect with joy. We are to remind ourselves of our husband’s happiness when we do that. Rewards are important because Jesus says it is important (276).
Emerson says that there will be times that we may fail at giving love or respect but we can rise again. We can get back up on the energizing and rewarding cycle. It is said that “the rewarded cycle will deepen your love and reverence for Christ as you render love and respect to your spouse as unto Him” (Eggerichs, 278).
Our marriage is really about and for Christ. Emerson says that “marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord” (281).
Emerson shares that the rewarded cycle is “the way to finding inner freedom and maturity of spirit’ (284). We are responsible for how we respond to our spouses. We have a choice to react in a godly way. Jesus is willing to help us be strong. He wants to give us freedom from sin. We are free. In Peter 1 2:16-17, we are to live as free men, we are to show proper respect to everyone, love the brotherhood. We want our children to see what it really means to love ad respect each other. This cycle reveals what we are inside. When a wife feels her need for love is met, she bonds with her husband. When a husband feels his need for respect is being met, he bonds with his wife (299).
Emerson share that”when blue bled with pink, it becomes purple and purple is God’s color–the color of royalty” (300).