My husband had gotten this book, Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs last year and I had started to read some of it last summer, but never finished it. And I have nothing new to read as of right now, so I decided that I would start that book from the start again. And I did finish part I.
Emerson defines the crazy cycle as “for wives: without love, she reacts without respect. Without respect, he reacts without love” (16).
This doctor shares that the “secret” is in Ephesians 5:33 shared by Paul that “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband“.
The answer is basically that wives need love and that the husbands need respect. That goes even when they are unloving. Love and respect are primary needs for them. It has to be done unconditionally.
“She can give her husband unconditional respect in tone and expression while confronting his unloving behavior and without endorsing his unloving reactions”(Eggerichs, 43).
It is shared in Ephesians 5:25 and 28:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her… Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself” (Eggerichs, 45).
Emerson stresses that respect is a man’s deepest value. It can motivate them (49). Husbands are to value wives as equals.
Emerson says that we can’t talk to our husbands like we would to a girlfriend because men are different and sees things different. We wear pink and they wear blue.
The bible tells us that we must be first to seek peace and pursue it in our marriage.
We can calmly say “that that felt respectful and will you forgive me for reacting unloving”?
Emerson stresses that we aren’t to give up. We are to keep trying to win our spouses heart. Marriage is a good thing to fight for daily.