This is on the rise right now. I’ve noticed over the last few years. Teenagers are having sex earlier than what the norm used to be. It used to be like anywhere from 16 and up and now it’s like 12 or 13 or even shockingly earlier like 10 or 11.. It’s really insane and sad really.
Now, I did become sexually active at 17 myself, but I didn’t give myself to every guy I found attractive. I’ve only had sex with three guys which includes my husband. My ex, a friend and my husband.
Teenagers have more access to sexual images than before thanks to the Internet and cell phones. Sex is everywhere. Porn, ads, sexual stores, etc. So it’s hard to avoid them absolutely. Parents have less control as who or what their teens are doing compared to says 2o or 25 years ago.
Girls are starting puberty earlier than before. I know I was starting to grow boobs around 10, but I didn’t even have my period until I was almost 14. I don’t think I really regularly wear a bra until high school. It was a month before I graduated Grade 8 when AF came and even AF wasn’t regular until maybe my 2nd year of high school.
It’s known that oral sex is happening even in elementary school. Oral sex for a lot of people it’s the last base before you lose your virginity. It’s crazy. I didn’t even have oral until I was 17 (everything happened the same year actually!). I remember the farthest I went in elementary school was kissing and kissing was making out.
Boys are more driven to porn and expect sex to be the same as what they see online. Treat their “partners” like trash. Not really respect at all. Just basically use her and be really rough with her. It’s heartbreaking. My husband did see porn and masturbated to it long before he became sexually active with me, but he always has respected me and knew the difference from female porn stars and me.
Obviously we can’t stop everyone from having sex. But we can teach them to be safe about it. Teach them to respect their bodies. Use protection. Only have sex with those you really care and love them for who they are, not just because they are sexy and they “love” you. That you don’t have to have sex just because everyone else is. That you can stand up for what it is right for YOU. You don’t want to have regrets.
Absolutely, teenagers are growing up with insane hormones but you can control them by channeling it elsewhere physically with sports or the gym or dance or whatever it is that you like.
My boys are still young, but we will have the sex and the bodies talk eventually. I want them to know that sex is still good, but it has to be done in a respectable way and especially if they are going to continue in their walk with the Lord… that they should save this beautiful gift until they come across their future wives. My husband saved himself for me, which I didn’t expect but it was a beautiful gift. Because I had the general thought that all guys have sex and he would have had several girls before me, but he didn’t. I hope that he shares his story with the boys when we feel it’s the right time. I hope that our marriage teaches our boys to want that amazing relationship as I have with my husband.