Sheila talks about what submission means in marriage in her book, Nine Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage. Chapter 5 was titled as I’m Not in Competition With My Husband.
“God does not ask women to blindly obey their husbands. We are supposed to “act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8), and that applies to marriage too. We are to walk humbly with God, not follow our husbands away from him. If following our husbands means going against God’s commands, we’re to follow God instead” (Gregoire, 103).
We’re helpmeets for our husbands. We are to be on the same team as our husbands. We are to be the partners that God wants us to be for our husbands.
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).
This above scripture applies for both men and women. We are here to be on t he same time and grow and change together. Lead on God’s path together. Because we are one flesh. That is submission. I love how Sheila says ” we don’t just defer to him. We emotionally and physically invest in building him up and pursuing his best” (109). We are to serve, love and show grace. Husbands are to do that too for wives.
For most of my relationship and marriage with my husband, I didn’t always put Isaiah first. I wasn’t always supportive or asking what he needed from me. I do train myself now to think of Isaiah first. I want to care for my husband daily. I want to pursue my husband’s best in the ways that honors God too. I want to listen to anything my husband want to share with me. It may be something with work, his personal struggles, etc. I want to provide comfort and encouragement for him. I want to respect his decisions. Respond to him gracefully.
Isaiah is an spiritual leader, but in his own way. He thinks of me, the boys, and what to do for us, the house, and etc. Thinking the best of us. He prays with the kids at bedtime. He spends time with the boys. He goes to Church with us when we go. He knows God is there for him. He’s working on praying and going deeper in his walk with the Lord. Sheila defines spiritual leader as “he sets the tone for the family and that ultimately he is responsible before God for his family spiritual condition”( 114).
I love my husband and he actually inspires me to want to be a better wife and mother and woman. It’s our marriage that has lead me to go deeper with the Lord and spill God’s way into my heart, soul, body and mind so that I am able to share that beauty with my husband. Knowing that I am worthy just as much as my husband is. I have to keep laying down my life for my husband and for God too.