I have three boys. So much has changed since my own childhood. Over 20-30 years ago. Kids these days are entering puberty earlier and experimenting stuff earlier. I did kissing stuff as a child but I really didn’t experiment with sexual activities until I was a teenager, more like in my late teens at 17.
Now, having grown up Catholic. I honestly never had the talk with my parents about sex. Really. It was assumed that I would wait until I was married to have sex. But I never waited. I did have some sexual education at school in elementary and high school. The rest I figured it out on my own. My husband never had the talk either. His ex-step-dad gave him porn tapes at some point so that was pretty much it. He did have some sex ed at school as well. The rest he learned on his own as well.
While it would be awesome if my boys managed to wait until they were married to have sex. But let’s be realistic here, they probably won’t. My husband honestly only had sex with me but it was way before we were married obviously. It would be beautiful at the very least if they were in a long term relationship that was eventually would be headed to marriage. We can’t tell them to wait as it is their body and their choice. We can teach them what sex is about, and how to be safe about it. That both men and women are to respect each other and their bodies and more. To follow their heart and be prayerful about it. It’s so much more than pleasure as we all know. That their bodies belong to God. It is known in the bible of course, that men shouldn’t be alone and that they should have a wife when it comes to sex.
You know before I had my babies, I thought I would do the talk when they were teenagers. Alas I mentioned earlier, things are happening a lot earlier than it did in my generation or even with our parents’ generation. So now, I can see that we would have the “talk” way before they are teenagers. Now, it won’t happen just yet as my kids are currently 6, 5 and 2. I can see probably in a few more years. We will see.
My oldest only asked once about where babies do come from and this was when we were having our youngest about 2 years ago. L was like 4 at the time so we just answered at the time that it is a gift from God, and it was baking in my tummy. He was satisfied with that.
Now, when the time comes, we will be real about everything. Proper names, protection, hormones/emotions, and more. As appropriate as we can be at their age, whenever that is. Being sexual and feeling sexual is normal, but it’s knowing how to control it, and more is the important thing here.
For the time being, I will continue to have my kids stay innocent as much as possible, but I won’t shy away from any questions either if it comes up. I’m okay with the schools teaching my boys about sex when it is taught, but we will also do that at home as well.
I don’t want my boys to think that sex isn’t wrong, but that it is sacred, beautiful and it is to be done in a respectful manner. Sex is a gift from God and that it should glorify him in the right manner.