Sex is always better when both partners are mutually wanting it in all areas. I’ve always looked at sex as a vital part of a relationship. Certainly not it to be the true center of relationship or marriage, but it is important enough to be a part of it. Sex has been viewed in my eyes, not just the physical pleasure aspect of it but its connection with it emotionally, and spiritually. God made sex as beautiful and pure, and it is to be thoroughly enjoyed blissfully especially in a marriage. While I did give my virginity to someone else before my husband, sex then wasn’t “making love”. It only became purely that when I entered in a relationship with my husband knowing that he was the “one” that God had set for me to have for the rest of my life, sex became beautiful and full of fireworks. Although, it’s not always that all the time as we’ve been married for about 9 years now (and together for about 14 years now).
Sex has been centered around my sex drive though for the most part, because I am the one that has the higher sex drive (like a guy) but I would almost always get shot down, because whenever I indicated, it wasn’t the right time due to work, tired, just not in the mood or whatever. So it did eventually become centered around HIS sex drive, because I got tired of being shot down almost all the time, and just gave into whenever he desired it and/or me.
Two years ago in April (2013), our marriage got a wake up call in all areas, including our sexual intimacy. I now look at sex more with the “connection” more in depth. I love “connecting” with him physically, emotionally, and sexually, and spiritually. I know that whenever we have sex, it glorifies the Lord. Sex helps to celebrate our marriage and the amazing unconditional love that we have for each other and God. We feel more “connected” after. Be all more affectionate and romantic. More in tune with each other, even outside of the bedroom in other areas of our marriage/relationship. I know we still have moments where we decline sex because we just don’t have the energy or the drive. I personally like our special time to be happening when we’re awake, really into it emotionally (not just physically) and feeling Spirit enter between us. So during those non-intercourse times, I still like physical touch. So cuddles, kisses, and hand touching is still awesome and blissfully wanted. My husband is a present that I open every day, and I love that I am that he only has eyes for. My husband and sex are delicious together. Nakedness is eye candy in a marriage and it’s still pure! 🙂
Praying for sexual intimacy to increase in your relationship and marriage does work, but also communicating with your spouse also helps. I know there will always be seasons of up and downs with sexual intimacy, but as long you both work on pursuing each other on a regular basis in your marriage in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom… physically, emotionally, sexually, mentally, and spiritually, it will have more ups than downs. I know that we’ve been much closer and happier for the last two years because we’ve really unveiled what’s on our hearts with everything and for each other. We fiercely work on our marriage and help build each other up daily. We are more “in the mood” easier and passionately. Being “connected” and feeling that regularly is really awesome. It makes me want to keep that fire going in all areas of our marriage! I want my husband all the more passionately in the emotional sense. Like I am really lucky to be married, and to share Christ’s body with him. We are one flesh. We own each other’s bodies, and Christ is in each one of us. Sex can be really beautiful if you make it beautiful, both in your heart, and body. We are God’s creation for each other.