I knew growing up that I would one day become a mom. I loved holding babies. Even when my husband and I were dating, I had that baby touch. I would hold them and eventually have them fall asleep. I still do with friends babies and other family members.
Anyway, I first became a mom even with my stillborn Noah in 2008. But I still yearned for future babies that would actually be here in the physical world. I wanted to be able to birth them with a beautiful cry, and hold them, and mother them for all of their lives. I did eventually with Logan in 2009, Austin in 2010, and Jackson in 2013. I did have another angel baby, Sea Monkey/Savannah in 2012.
Today, I look at them, and I love being a mom, to all 5 kids. I still love, and nurture my boys. I still remember Noah and Savannah with love. Jackson planted a few sweet kisses to my lips this morning when I got him up from his crib. Austin wanted to hold my hand for a few minutes at school, while waiting for the bell to ring to line up for his class. Logan gives me a hug as he is lined up for his class to go into school. All three of them call me “Mommy”. IT’s just the most heart-warming word you will ever hear in your life. Jackson who is almost two, now says, Hi Mommy. He is so sweet. I carried this 30 pound baby walking home on Sunday from the park (while on family walk).
There are days that is so testing, and weary but these babies are my precious gifts from God, and I am to teach them and love them, and nurture them to what God wants them to be. I love serving this ministry. I’m not perfect. I am always learning and growing in what I am to be as “Mom”. God continues to shape me along with my husband. Even your children can be little teachers too.
Everyone has different paths in life. I felt that I was meant to be a mom early on. Friends from different circles are more or less having babies now. I’m done with the “TTC” part now. I’m at the stage where I just want to watch my babies grow up and be part of their lives. Sharing and making memories with them. I just grow with love all the time. Mother’s Day is around the corner. I am blessed to have a such a wonderful and amazing mom and mother in law. They both shape me in this role and help me with my babies. They do it with amazing love and compassion and grace.