Yes, that’s what I mean with AF… its that time of the month. aka Aunt Flow.
Whenever she rears her head, usually, I am more in the mood more than any other time of the month, even with my high sex drive. Even though she is more messier than ejaculation, I don’t even mind indulging sexual intimacy with my husband. AF never stopped me from wanting to have sex even in the beginning when I first started to explore it.
But pregnancy and post-pregnancy has changed my body over the last few years. The vagina isn’t the same. Because I’ve delivered 4 children (that includes my stillborn, Noah) and was also pregnant with my 2 other unborn children in 2001/02 and 2012. And I trained my body while TTC for Savannah to be numb to orgasm (it’s easier to conceive boys with orgasm involved) and add that with AF which is like extra lube in a red mess, you don’t physically feel much, if it all during sexual intercourse.
Then, my sex drive has tamed so much ever since my husband found out about my infidelity, it all goes to mush during AF for the past year and half. So I don’t always feel beautiful.
I still ENJOY sex. I just don’t always feel the amazing physical pleasure especially during AF. I do tease and flirt with my husband when we’re not in the bedroom, and he has the reins basically when we have sex because, his drive is much lower than mine, and I’m almost always rejected when I do indicate in the bedroom.
I’ve been working on with gaining focus on the sexual intimacy in the bedroom more than the physical pleasure itself. More on the emotional aspect. There have been recent times where it’s been AMAZING, and I feel so much LOVE during it as well. I enjoy the closeness with him. Being naked with him. Working on getting rid of insecurity and inability to orgasm every time. I LOVE my husband so much. I continue to want to be the YES wife in this area. I pray for help in this area. I love the emotional connection, but even more special when the physical connection is felt amazingly too! But time and patience is key. I cherish any time I am able to connect in all aspects sexually with my husband. I love making love with him!