Darlene mentions in her book, Messy Beautiful Love that “Most people go into marriage with an idea of what things should look like and how life will pan out.” (Schacht, 172). I did, but like with everything else, it changes course as we journey on. Not everything will pan out as we would ideally like to be.
To be honest even as a child, I never really pictured what my future husband would be or even was looking for a husband when I was starting my “true dating” phase as a teen. So even when Isaiah and I first met, I didn’t even realize that he would end up being my husband. I was dating someone else at the time, and just learning what I wanted in a relationship. I did eventually trace back to Isaiah a few months later, and as God would know it, we did become a couple and eventually married. We did of course at the beginning of our relationship that we had similar goals and dreams. Family, travels, etc. Basically, to have a happy life together as a couple with kids in the picture.
But things would pop up in the way not as planned. There were several bumps over the years of our relationship and marriage. We actually got pregnant around 6 months into the relationship, even though we kept it very private, we did share with my family and pressured mounted that we would terminate that pregnancy since it was unplanned. So even to this date, almost NO one knows about that baby. SO we do have a 6th child that hasn’t really been public. But we were 18/19 at the time. We were extremely upset that it went that way, but it is what it is.
Plans were recalculated. But we still stayed together because we loved each other. It proved that my husband was stronger than I expected, and most guys would leave…. We didn’t plan other things like my husband’s bipolar issues escalating with his former job, Teletech. It affected a lot of things, and probably the start of a major negative spiral with our relationship and I affected him as well. Fast forward to a few years later. We didn’t expect that when we did try for a family for real, that we would endure a stillbirth with our firstborn son, Noah. So we’ve been challenged a lot as a individual and as a couple. There are many other things that “recalculated” our life together, but it truly as one way or another kept us together, and getting stronger even if we didn’t realize it. We were hanging on a thread though, to be honest until last Spring in 2013. Which we decided that we needed to change in order to protect each other, our marriage, and our friendship. We truly want to grow old together.
We are absolutely more “content” with our life together now as we are more happier, and more in love with each other all the time with ourselves and with each other each and every day. We try to life today as if there is no tomorrow.
“All we are given is this moment; tomorrow belongs to the Lord.” (Schacht, 172).
We have to be content to let God lead us. We have to be content in trust with each other. I want to be content with my husband every day.
“Contentment doesn’t wish that today was tomorrow. Contentment lives in each present moment with an attitude of gratitude. The reward is at hand. It isn’t an easy choice, but the best things in life never are. ” (Schacht, 175).
I am especially thankful for where I am in my marriage today. I am now contentment and thankful for the awesome man that God had given me to share life with. I am amazed that my husband has stood with me all this time.
“Marriage is a lifelong journey that leads us to grow every step of the way” (Schacht, 181).
I find that very true. We are constantly growing all the time. Learning all the time. I feel that we are TOGETHER more now. Growing in love with each other and to the Lord too!