I continue with more thoughts this time with conflict and loving communication from Messy Beautiful Love written by Darlene Schacht. When it comes to conflict, it’s better exercise patience and strength. You can be walking in Sprit. It comes with you being tender-hearted. Spirit provides you forgiveness, grace and peace. This helps you obey to the Lord. You have better control with your heart. You walk in LOVE. Darlene says walking in LOVE means
L-Let go and let God
O-Offer Grace to each other
V-Value your relationship more than your pride
E- Edify each other in love.
Wise conflict has you fighting with your spouse, not against them. This won’t tear them up. Here is one bit of Scripture in the Word of God from Eph. 4:21-27 NIV that Darlene mentions in her book that I love …
” In your anger, do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Schacht, 91).
Basically never go to bed angry. This means even in conflict, you still guard your heart and mind from Satan. Only Spirit can help. It is essentially stressed that you pray. Give it all to Him. He can handle more than we can.
Wise conflict is also important in loving communication. This teaches in handling things with each other in a healthier way. Communication is very important especially in a marriage. If you don’t keep the communication line open, things can spiral out of control and nothing gets fulfilled. We will never be perfect. There will be times where we fail and get angry.
“The fact is, we will get angry, but the key to a good relationship is being able to relay that frustration in love. A good rule of thumb? Love your husband enough to trust his intentions. Rather than get upset at something he’s done, give him the benefit of doubt and ask yourself if it’s a malicious act on his part of it’s a matter of miscommunication. Getting along has everything to do with putting aside your desire to have things your way so that you might strengthen the bond of unity. ” (Schacht, 104-105).
You can speak up but only in a respectful way. That is with love and patience. God is always in control though. We are to always forgive. We are to practice tender-loving forgiveness.
“Forgiveness is one thing, but kind and tender-hearted forgiveness is yet another. It excels the wisdom of man, reflecting the love of Christ.” (Schacht, 110-111).
Handling conflict with communicating in a tender-hearted way will take practice. Nothing changes overnight. However, as long we allow God and Spirit to help in times like these, we will grow more into Christ with patience and strength and grace. We are to practice seeing our spouses as God. Its not only husbands, but wives too.