Last week or was it two weeks ago….no matter when… but I felt jealous. Why? I compared myself to someone else. Someone close to me. Not my husband, but one of my friends. IT’s a bad thing.
My husband told me that I am beautiful the way I am. My life, and my body has changed so much for so long. I am a mom, a wife, and me! I do take care of myself more now than I did when I first started living with my husband, when I first married my husband, and when I became a mom. There is no other ME. I am my only version of me. I change daily in growing for the better. To be a better ME, a better mom, a better wife. I find JOY in myself.
Look where I have accomplished in life today. I have never let my disability of being deaf at birth prevent me from reaching anything in what I want to do. At 31, I dabble in photography, a mom of 5 kids (3 living boys, 2 angel babies), a married wife to Isaiah, I stay home to care for the house, and my kids, and etc. I have travelled a little bit since leaving my “growing up” home at 21. I went to the DR at 23 and Jamaica at 30.
My “shell” of myself continues to open daily. I am constantly trying to do things outside of the box to see what I can do for myself and with my husband. God can give you more than you realize in the things that you do inside and outside of the home daily. I work on my marriage, motherhood, friendships with my girls, and more. I may not be 125 like I was at 18, but even just under 160, I still maintain what is ME. My husband still desires me. I still desire only and for my husband. I do Zumba and want to do try to do more than just that to remain active all around and possibly lose weight. Just would take longer than normal. I know my love handles probably won’t go away completely but that’s because I chose to create 5 babies with my husband and that is a gift and blessing in one! ❤ You can find joy in loving yourself and that’s ALL of it..both on the outside and inside!