There is so much that goes into play with body image. Especially for women. There are so many ways that degrade your own image of yourself. Porn is one way. All the active women in the sex industry are very beautiful. Skinny. Boobs, ass, curves, and the like. There is so much portrayal with size.
I know I am beautiful with my “well-endowed” boobs. I know I look amazing when tanned. I know I struggle with my weight. Go from underweight, to model-like skinny, and beyond. My body changed the most with pregnancy. My boobs enlarged. Curves appear. No longer hourglass image. I have issues with my legs. So big and fat. My feet changed during pregnancy. My vagina has stretched looser due to pregnancy and more so with vaginal deliveries and probably the shape of it as well. So insecure because I want to be able to give that sensation to both me and my husband in our love-making. It can be more pleasurable with certain positions/body shifts and rhythm.
That personal area…. issues, although it is being worked on to this day. Oral pleasure doesn’t happen often there. My husband is just one of those guys who doesn’t embrace it much unlike those in pornography do. Although he is working on changing that. I didn’t really push too much of it for most of our relationship and marriage because of how I was down there was shared with my husband’s friends and I was also at fault for giving it much personal care then. I’m also guilty for not doing much oral to my husband with his private parts either. That I am working on more because I want to, not just because it’s needed (to start sexual excitement or whatever may be the case).
I can see me beautiful through photography and personal compliments from people and with what I wear (once again, photography). I embraced my belly when I was pregnant with each of my boys because they are a blessing and chose to be photographed being naturally naked towards the end of their pregnancies. It was almost close to a boudoir. I feel like I would be even more hotter in an actual boudoir session and embracing that sexual beauty with my husband. Maybe that’ll actually happen some day, maybe next year. I love looking at our photos from last year’s family session where there were a few pictures of just together and you could see some passionate love between us even though we had clothes on. I love grabbing my husband in the eyes and with his shirt.
We tease all day when we can when we are home together and is all that we can do with the boys around us during the day. Not a lot. Just passionate kisses there and grabbing ass. It doesn’t usually follow into our bedroom fun when we do get to be alone whether it’s when the boys are in bed or even when they are away overnight.
I feel I could be more dramatic and add more sensation to my body in the bedroom. I crave to be hot as fuck. I sometimes feel that I can’t perform extremely well in the bedroom. If I am insecure. I’m not flexible like some women are with difficult positions. They look fun, but don’t want to land in the ER if something horrific happened because of sex. I can be aggressive with my actions and be dominant and submissive. Control is an issue. So I can drive myself and my husband to the heavens together. Not always the case, that we come together in the end. I want to be touched in any way when I ride him. It takes two to tango. I want our sensation climax to overpower our bodies. Like more than fireworks. I know it won’t always happen every time, but regularly enough would be awesome. It’s hard when you are parents and other things in life that get in the way of personal time with your favorite person in the world like work, and etc.
I don’t wear lingerie or any other sexy stuff in the bedroom much. Mainly because my husband doesn’t care for it. It doesn’t really turn him on. It can give that for me sometimes, but like I previously said, I have issues and we don’t always have the chance to have a good amount of time to enjoy our bedroom fun. We almost always go right into sex and it’s usually preferable to him that we’re naked from the get go. It’s been generally like that for our relationship/marriage. I craved for our sexual time together to be fast. Almost always like wham, thank you very much ma’am kind deal. I am at fault for not sharing my feelings in the past often enough that our time was always vanilla and that I wanted more chocolate experience/sensation between us. That we spice things up.
These days now, I want to add more sensation and respect for my body slower. I want my body to be explored geographically in all areas and taken in with pleasure for me and for my husband. If I can feel more beautiful in the bedroom, it would be this route. Unwrap me in taking my clothes off slowly and take me after. Tease, kiss, touch, and etc. with everything. I crave all of me to be all super yummy to my husband like I am chocolate. That much excitement. Give it all love. I’m still all for crazy deep and seductive passion too and it can be thrown in the slow sensual mix too. I want to rock it all out. I would do the same to and for my husband. For him to feel like a stud. Hot as hell. I always want him. Always have. As to say, hey. You are mine and I am yours with everything and especially with our sexual bliss. I want to be taken in every aspect of my body, heart and soul. I want US to be each other’s drug for life to the point where we can’t get enough of each other. Also, that we can be sore together after taking in our incredible bliss. I feel that it can happen, regardless of how much time we are able to share in the bedroom or even in other whereabouts we are when in the moment. But like I’ve previously mentioned since with kids in our life, it won’t always be the case. I would be happy with just being it often enough.
I do enjoy and love sharing my heart, soul and body with my husband. I feel with my body image, that when I do solely focus on my husband and think of him only at all times, even especially in between the sheets that there is beauty to myself and to us together. That I can feel and share more sensation to our intimacy. Especially with eye contact while in the act of love. Checking in with each other in how we are doing in the bedroom is so important. Open communication. I have appreciated lately that he has been trying to spice it up for us (and I have in turn as well). We’ll keep working on it and we’ll together crave and want more of each other sexually (and of course in all other aspects of our relationship, friendship and marriage. I love my husband and am in love with him. I enjoy his company for everything.