Intimacy & Sex

Throughout my relationship and marriage with my husband,  I craved sex more than anything else intimacy for the longest time.  My husband used to say that sex was his favorite thing to show his love to me.  I felt like a woman when it came to sex.  It was a hard struggle over the years because I am the one that carry a high sex drive, and have needs to be met and  my husband is the opposite with a low sex drive.    His sex drive doesn’t always match with his emotional crave.    I guess at some point,  sex became a bore for both of us.   I would try to spice it up occasionally, but it was almost always vanilla, and most times whenever I indicated I would get rejected by him. I was crushed.   I learned to just let him indicate sex when he wanted to, and I would give it then because I was tired of indicating and being rejected.  Him not listening to my heart and/or not showing affection,  un-appreciativeness was on the horizon.  But again,  there was the lack of communication and/or misunderstanding as well between us.  It was only the rare occasional time that I would actually “win” in indicating with my husband.   Now  I look back on it with all those years, and it shows crazy.  I was nagging.  Greedy, wanting it with any free time that was available.   There was no respect for myself and my husband.  I even felt bad when we needed to TTC,  to expand our family.  During that TTC time, it was even more stressful.  Don’t get me wrong, there were times that we did enjoy our love making, when we were “all there” and wanted it out of love, not just to satisfy our needs or because the other wanted it.   Half-assed if you want to view it that way.

Last year,  we grew closer as husband and wife and actually working on our marriage with all aspects, and naturally, our sex life took on a new chance at being amazing and beautiful to this day.   I now cherish more intimate things like our snuggles in bed, hugs,  kisses,  teases, long gazes,  long talks, silence together, holding hands and etc, so much more affectionately and with appreciation.  Saying the three important words of I love you more often with meaning. Giving it our all.  I don’t take those things for granted anymore.  These things have created deeper emotional intimacy and also in turn have helped with bring that deeper bond into our love making.   We now communicate to each other in how we are doing with sex and etc as well.  Call it ” our check in”.   ❤

Also, me praying for both our sexual intimacy and my husband’s low sex drive has also worked wonders.     Our intimacy is so now amazingly romantic, beautiful and sensual.   I focus so much more on him and showing my love for him in anything I do on a daily basis.  My husband’s sex drive has also increased.  He chooses to want to make love to me more because he wants to, not because of my drive.  He actually takes care of me.  He indulges in more and enjoys it more.  I am the same way for my husband. We come together as one.  There’s more deeper emotional connection when we come together physically.   That alone spices it up so much more.  I love it.  We respect each other more intimately and in all aspects of our relationship and marriage.   He did earlier this year took more charge in increasing his sexual drive with medical pills and they have helped as well.  We’ve not needed them lately though which is awesome 🙂

I’ve been feeling so satisfied so much for the past year (more than 100%!), and I haven’t felt needed to desperately ask for it.  I’ve been graciously respecting and embracing every single moment with any kind of intimacy.  Patience  and prayer has been a great virtue in this.  I’m  happy with anything.   I just LOVE my husband’s company.  I don’t think of anything when we make love. All eyes and thoughts consume of just my husband.  The man I love and devote to.   I just bask in the moment.  Embrace in feeling sexually romantic with him. 🙂

I loved this weekend so much.  Even though we still only had our youngest son around to care for.   We had an amazing time.  I loved my husband grabbing my hands and holding them everywhere we went.  The mall and the beach.   After the mall, we made love. It was beautiful.  I feel so much more to him.  Much more than a woman when it came to sex.  I had thoughts of love at the beach. The beach is where I fell in love with my husband 13 years ago, and here I am very much deeply in love with him and showing this place to Jackson.  I loved the feel of romance through the sun blazing on us and just being in his company feeling happily married in love with him.   That’s true intimacy. We had a great long talk together in the car on the road home after the beach.  I loved that we were checking in with each other about sex, and other things.  Reaffirming that we are still happy with each other and continuing to work on US, and choosing to still be together in love and loving one another   I loved basking in the beautiful silence in our marital bed after J went to bed at the end of the day and just snuggled with him to sleep in his arms  with full of love.   My husband choosing to make love to me this morning after J went for a nap when I was still in bed, being grateful for my sleep in.  ❤

I love my days with my husband every day.  Filling it with loving words and loving touch and embracing it to the fullest.  Valuing everything together has helped in our intimacy within our relationship and marriage! 🙂 ❤

About jewellove30

Married since 2006, in love since 2001. Have three boys and two angel babies.
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