I learned early yesterday morning that a fellow march mom (we’re a close knit group that was connected through WTE while I was pregnant with Logan in 2008/2009) had lost her 7 month old baby girl “Blu” in her sleep the previous night. Her husband had checked on her after putting her to bed, and he found her unresponsive and even EMS couldn’t revive her either. It is so sad and heartbreaking. Their oldest daughter, “Lulu” is Logan’s age (3). I have no words. I can’t imagine how this family is going to get through this difficult time. It made me be more appreciative and blessed to have my two boys and I was extra huggable with them last night. This fear with SIDS, is high up there next to a miscarriage or a stillbirth. I have been through a late 2nd trimester stillbirth with Noah in 2008 and recently experienced a early miscarriage in January (found out at 12 weeks that SM was gone at 9 weeks so late December), but to be with your child for 7 months post delivery and then pass away is definitely more heartbreaking…. and this “Lulu” is going to be asking her sister “Blu” for months to come and even years to come. She’s at the age where she doesn’t fully understand what has happened to “Blu”…. I am saddened for this family during this difficult time. Our march mamas have been amazing, and they are pulling through left and right with donations and etc in honor for our fellow MM Kelly so that she can take time off work to mourn and grieve and not worry about finances for the funeral and etc for the next little while. “Blu” is a beautiful little girl who is now an angel that will watch over Kelly, Derrek and “Lulu”. During this saddness, I’m also thinking about my own angels, Noah and recently Sea Monkey. I know they are watching over me, Isaiah and especially our two boys, Logan and Austin. Noah is an amazing angel. He took care of the boys while I was pregnant with them, and i know he continues to look on them as they continue to thrive and grown. I am so sad that “Lulu” no longer will have the physical bond with “Blu” 😦 I watch my two boys interact and play together and they are amazing with just only a year apart. I cherish every waking moment that I have with the boys. I am lucky to be a mom to them, and still wish that I could be that mother “physically” with Noah and SM also. I yearn for to be pregnant again. Pregnancy helped with my healing in regards to Noah for Logan and Austin and I know it will too help more with my “SM” healing also when the time comes. I still WORRY that I would come across the risk of losing another baby but I have to believe that I will bring another baby home after 9 months and still “keep” it beyond that also. The first year of a baby life is so scary but exciting at the same time. I will always remember “Blu” just as I also remember other March Mama’s losses especially with Justin who was SB at 40 weeks (in 2009) but now has Cody as a earth brother sibling (2010). I aim to try to live life to the fullest as a mom to ALL of my babies and as a wife to my amazing husband, Isaiah on a daily basis. I also try to remain in close contact with our parents and my brothers also. My heart is and will always be heavy but still will burn with love and happiness for Logan and Austin and hopefully with their future sibling whenever that may be coming…. that is still TBA. God hasn’t blessed us with a pregnancy yet, but I am hoping it will take place very soon!