Our Heart Breaking News with SM!!!!

I am unfortunately NO LONGER pregnant with our 4th baby; Sea Monkey  😦 Here’s the lowdown on what has been happening.  On January 9th being 11w5d pregnant, I went in for a scheduled 1st trimester ultrasound/scan that usually basically checks for any defects like down syndrome and etc.   The u/s didn’t go as planned and left within 5 mins after being in the room.  ALL day I felt something was wrong (and actually I had very bad feelings the entire weekend leading up to the ultrasound) and eventually Isaiah came home from his usual work shift and he had heart breaking news for me.  He had gotten the CALL from my family doctor and basically said that Sea Monkey was gone.  The baby had never had a heartbeat and was likely gone the previous 2 weeks ago which meant that it happened when I was 9 weeks and I had just gone public with the pregnancy with family, friends and FB then during Christmas weekend  😦  The doc had said that it probably had a defect and that it was a fluke that it got taken away (probably for a good reason that God had for us).  Two days later, I am at the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit (EPAU) at UH and they double confirmed the miscarriage with SM complete with the Jan 9 u/s report and their own U/S.  We did actually see SM that day on the ultrasound.  SM was definitely a size of a 9 week old baby in utero.  It was a closure for us that SM was there in me but GONE as in not baking anymore or having a HB.   I wanted to speed up the process of my m/c as my body had not been expelling it on it own the whole time and the next step was surgery aka D & C.  So they scheduled it for the next opening day that Vic’s had which was the following Tuesday (Jan 17).   So the whole week that I had of carrying SM in my belly was very hard knowing that it wasn’t doing anything anymore and started the process of  “letting go” so that Noah (2008) could be at peace with his new heavenly sibling.  The chapter wasn’t yet closed…..  The surgery morning (Jan 17) being 12w6d PG at Vic’s finally came and it was a long morning but it was finally said and done.   It went well as expected and SM was finally “officially” gone and me as in not pregnant anymore.   I was very grateful to have my husband with me during this time (for the most part). We needed to be together to close this chapter for good with SM.   I am recovering very well both physically and emotionally. 

We do have plans to TTC again for one last time and hopefully the outcome will have us bring home another successful healthy baby like we did with our two precious boys, Logan and Austin.  We do still want a girl, but never less, a healthy and sticky baby is the most important thing right now.    Hopefully, it will be happening in late autumn/fall of this year (2012) that our family is finally complete but even into early 2013 is fine too.  Time will only tell.  We are leaving it up to God to decide when it’s right for us to be pregnant again and carry it to term.   Regardless, this next one will be our definite last baby… no matter what the outcome is (preferably the good one than the bad one though!). 

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About jewellove30

Married since 2006, in love since 2001. Have three boys and two angel babies.
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